Breast feeding

OK seriously, why does no one tell you how horrible breastfeeding CAN be. I say "can" because it was pretty easy and natural with Damon. It all went down hill from there! I think it gets harder every time! This last time definitely takes the cake and there has been sooo many times that I've just wanted to throw in the breast pads and quit! I wasn't able to breastfeed Raquel at first because she was Sooooo tiny! And she has the smallest mouth ever. So I switched to pumping because I would cry every time I had to latch her on. I was so sore and cracked, I never thought I'd recover and be the same! So I started pumping and it was ok at first. But it was hard for my milk to let down because it wasn't my baby feeding, it was a machine!!

My milk supply is pretty crazy the first few weeks. Like 9 oz on each side crazy. SO I pumped and pumped to avoid mastitis and plugged ducts then I start to wean it down. Well then I started only pumping in the morning and at night so my milk supply plummeted! I got so tired of pumping and just being a little milking cow! I was ready to quit but i'm just too stubbourn! haha So I started taking fenugreek and pumping more throughout the day and night.....pretty much anytime raquel ate, I would pump. It worked like a charm and I built my supply back up to about 4 -6 oz each side about 5 times a day.  Finally! a win! so we pumped and pumped and when Raquel was about 3 months old, I wanted to try breastfeeding again. It would take me about an hour to pump each session and it was just sooooo time consuming! So I latched raquel on and away she went!!! It was amazing! She did so good! It was painful but I wasn't cracking and bleeding like I was the first time!

It still hurts when she latches on because her mouth is so small. (no it's not a tongue tie! Been there done that with Rafe and Jag so I knew what to look for with her) But she's nursing great now. She takes FOREVER to eat though and it's driving me a little crazy. But I'll take it over having to pump!! She eats about 2 oz then gets tired and falls asleep, takes a small cat nap, wakes up and eats again.....and again...... and again..... I am constantly feeding her. I don't know what would be more time consuming, to actually feed her until she's full, which would take about 40 minutes.....or feeding her 20 minutes at a time to just by me time until she's hungry again. When she's full shes so happy and hardly makes a sound! When she's still hungry she's pretty fussy! SO we'll get the hang of it! We've come a long way and have fought to get this far so we'll figure it out!!

But seriously, why does no one tell you the truth about how hard this can be? When you're pregnant everyone warns you about delivery and labor and recovery, but not a whole lot about nursing. It's seriously hell. HELL. It's convenient and cheap, but so hard sometimes. I've had mastitis twice with raquel, and more plugged ducts than I can count.  My little sister is having a baby in January and I'm gearing her up for what to expect. It's not pretty but it is a wonderful way to bond with your baby and that makes it all worth it!