OK seriously, why does no one tell you how horrible breastfeeding CAN be. I say "can" because it was pretty easy and natural with Damon. It all went down hill from there! I think it gets harder every time! This last time definitely takes the cake and there has been sooo many times that I've just wanted to throw in the breast pads and quit! I wasn't able to breastfeed Raquel at first because she was Sooooo tiny! And she has the smallest mouth ever. So I switched to pumping because I would cry every time I had to latch her on. I was so sore and cracked, I never thought I'd recover and be the same! So I started pumping and it was ok at first. But it was hard for my milk to let down because it wasn't my baby feeding, it was a machine!!
My milk supply is pretty crazy the first few weeks. Like 9 oz on each side crazy. SO I pumped and pumped to avoid mastitis and plugged ducts then I start to wean it down. Well then I started only pumping in the morning and at night so my milk supply plummeted! I got so tired of pumping and just being a little milking cow! I was ready to quit but i'm just too stubbourn! haha So I started taking fenugreek and pumping more throughout the day and night.....pretty much anytime raquel ate, I would pump. It worked like a charm and I built my supply back up to about 4 -6 oz each side about 5 times a day. Finally! a win! so we pumped and pumped and when Raquel was about 3 months old, I wanted to try breastfeeding again. It would take me about an hour to pump each session and it was just sooooo time consuming! So I latched raquel on and away she went!!! It was amazing! She did so good! It was painful but I wasn't cracking and bleeding like I was the first time!
It still hurts when she latches on because her mouth is so small. (no it's not a tongue tie! Been there done that with Rafe and Jag so I knew what to look for with her) But she's nursing great now. She takes FOREVER to eat though and it's driving me a little crazy. But I'll take it over having to pump!! She eats about 2 oz then gets tired and falls asleep, takes a small cat nap, wakes up and eats again.....and again...... and again..... I am constantly feeding her. I don't know what would be more time consuming, to actually feed her until she's full, which would take about 40 minutes.....or feeding her 20 minutes at a time to just by me time until she's hungry again. When she's full shes so happy and hardly makes a sound! When she's still hungry she's pretty fussy! SO we'll get the hang of it! We've come a long way and have fought to get this far so we'll figure it out!!
But seriously, why does no one tell you the truth about how hard this can be? When you're pregnant everyone warns you about delivery and labor and recovery, but not a whole lot about nursing. It's seriously hell. HELL. It's convenient and cheap, but so hard sometimes. I've had mastitis twice with raquel, and more plugged ducts than I can count. My little sister is having a baby in January and I'm gearing her up for what to expect. It's not pretty but it is a wonderful way to bond with your baby and that makes it all worth it!
Monday, November 6, 2017
Baby Raquel!!
I figured it was about time to get on here and blog about Raquel's birth story. She's only 4 months old today.....it's fine. hahah if that doesn't say anything about how life has been these last four months, I don't know what will. It's bee CRAZY.
I hope I can remember the main details because it's been quite a while, and most of the time I was pretty drugged, let's be honest.
The days/weeks leading up to my c section, I was freaking out. It's honestly like a little bit of ptsd. Knowing what was coming, the recovery, the adjustment, nursing....all while having three other kids to take care of is so overwhelming. On top of all those daunting thoughts, I had the Cholestasis stuff going on and was being monitored so closely, so that helped pass the time. Before I knew it, it was the night before my c section and I was just freaking out.
I was so excited to meet her, to see her face, hear her cry, and know that she is healthy and safe.
I was excited to be done being pregnant, and itching (cholestasis), and uncomfortable.
But I was dreading the surgery and recovery and the next 4 days in the hospital.
I didn't sleep at all that night before. We had to be to the hospital at 4:30 AM. Surgery was scheduled for 7:00.
So we check in, they did some blood work, then showed us to our room. I got into my gown, they got my IV in and goin, then they asked me 7 million questions. Then we sat.......and I stressed....and cried a little.
It was bitter sweet. This was my last baby. My last few moments being pregnant and feeling the kicks and movement. The stress from the last few weeks took away the excitement of having a new baby. It kept me from really soaking up and enjoying the last little bit of pregnancy. But I was ready to meet my little girl and see her sweet face.
The anesthesiologist came in and gave me this horrible drink that they give you to help settle your stomach so you don't throw up while you're in surgery. It is seriously the worst and I gag just thinking about it!! After that settled it was time to go in and get started in the OR.
The OR is always so cold, especially in the morning. My anesthesiologist was so sweet and had a heater going and warm blankets ready for me. He was so thoughtful and nice! We started the spinal tap, which doesn't take very long, but it always stresses me out. When you get an epidural during a normal labor, you've been having contractions and have been in pain so the epidural hurts, but it's not horrible. The spinal isn't bad, but I don't remember hating getting my epidurals that much! It was really giving me cramps down my right side so we had to adjust a few things, then it was go time!
I had dr Matt, and Dr. Gunderson for my surgery and they were both amazing. They both had to be there because it was a little more complicated with the amount of scar tissue. It took them 30 minutes just to get to Raquel. It usually takes about 5-7 minutes for them to get to the baby, but I had so much scar tissue they just had to cut through it all.
She came out screaming! I was so happy just because I was having horrible dreams about her not crying when she came out and she was over 3 weeks early and just all the risks of cholestasis had me so worried. So hearing that cry made me so happy.
She was born at 7:30 and was 6 lbs. I was in surgery for about another hour. They took my tubes out and sewed up everything. They also removed my previous 2 c section scars and just left one.....which is huge so not really a great trade off, but I don't mind.
Raquel screamed the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME! I hate not being able to hold her or comfort her. It was so frustrating and usually c sections aren't an hour and a half, but more like a half hour to 45 minutes. So it felt like FOREVER!!! But once it was all over, they wheeled me into recovery and I honestly don't remember much after that. I'm usually pretty drugged and remember bits and pieces but not much more. My parents came, we took some pictures, she got a bath, i tried to feed her, I threw up a few times (which hurts so freakin bad after a c section, even with the morphine!), then I slept while my mom took care of the baby.
The next few days were rough. Trying to get up and get your crying baby out of the bassinet after surgery is just not fun. Having my tubes taken out and having so much scar tissue cut through and around, my whole abdominal area just felt so sore and scraped through. But she was so worth it all! She was so sweet and tiny! I just can't get enough of her. I tried to just soak up the time with just her and I while we were in the hospital.
My mom came and stayed with us for 6 weeks! It was so nice to have her here and get help with the kids and the cleaning and the laundry. My little sister came for a while too, and it was just so nice to have all the help! They are my best friends and it was nice to not feel so overwhelmed because I can trust them with anything!
The recovery this last time around was definitely the worst, but the pain meds help you get through it, and having all the help was a lifesaver. It was all kind of a blur once I got home. I had a lot of problems breast feeding, and she dropped down to 5.5 lbs so I started pumping exclusively and it was so exhausting.
I know this post might seem a little negative, and "everythings hard and exhausting and the worst!" but it's my true feelings! It's why I don't want to have any more kids. The toll it takes on your body, and the c sections are just tough. And this last time was a doozy. So I love my kids, but I'm done. Some people just aren't blessed to have easy deliveries and birth stories. So that's why it might sound a little negative. But some of you probably relate!!
Anyways, Baby Rocky (I call her that, Dan hates it) is the sweetest little thing! She's a good sleeper and just all around happy baby! I'm so glad that she came to complete our little family! She's lucky to have 3 protective older brothers who just smother her with love! Jag really wanted nothing to do with her in the beginning but he's just as obsessed with her now as the rest of us! ;)
This going home outfit was mine too. My grandma Jolene made it for me and made my mom a matching nightgown. It's so special to me so i'm glad I got a chance to pass it down to my little girl!
I hope I can remember the main details because it's been quite a while, and most of the time I was pretty drugged, let's be honest.
The days/weeks leading up to my c section, I was freaking out. It's honestly like a little bit of ptsd. Knowing what was coming, the recovery, the adjustment, nursing....all while having three other kids to take care of is so overwhelming. On top of all those daunting thoughts, I had the Cholestasis stuff going on and was being monitored so closely, so that helped pass the time. Before I knew it, it was the night before my c section and I was just freaking out.
I was so excited to meet her, to see her face, hear her cry, and know that she is healthy and safe.
I was excited to be done being pregnant, and itching (cholestasis), and uncomfortable.
But I was dreading the surgery and recovery and the next 4 days in the hospital.
I didn't sleep at all that night before. We had to be to the hospital at 4:30 AM. Surgery was scheduled for 7:00.
So we check in, they did some blood work, then showed us to our room. I got into my gown, they got my IV in and goin, then they asked me 7 million questions. Then we sat.......and I stressed....and cried a little.
It was bitter sweet. This was my last baby. My last few moments being pregnant and feeling the kicks and movement. The stress from the last few weeks took away the excitement of having a new baby. It kept me from really soaking up and enjoying the last little bit of pregnancy. But I was ready to meet my little girl and see her sweet face.
The anesthesiologist came in and gave me this horrible drink that they give you to help settle your stomach so you don't throw up while you're in surgery. It is seriously the worst and I gag just thinking about it!! After that settled it was time to go in and get started in the OR.
The OR is always so cold, especially in the morning. My anesthesiologist was so sweet and had a heater going and warm blankets ready for me. He was so thoughtful and nice! We started the spinal tap, which doesn't take very long, but it always stresses me out. When you get an epidural during a normal labor, you've been having contractions and have been in pain so the epidural hurts, but it's not horrible. The spinal isn't bad, but I don't remember hating getting my epidurals that much! It was really giving me cramps down my right side so we had to adjust a few things, then it was go time!
I had dr Matt, and Dr. Gunderson for my surgery and they were both amazing. They both had to be there because it was a little more complicated with the amount of scar tissue. It took them 30 minutes just to get to Raquel. It usually takes about 5-7 minutes for them to get to the baby, but I had so much scar tissue they just had to cut through it all.
She came out screaming! I was so happy just because I was having horrible dreams about her not crying when she came out and she was over 3 weeks early and just all the risks of cholestasis had me so worried. So hearing that cry made me so happy.
She was born at 7:30 and was 6 lbs. I was in surgery for about another hour. They took my tubes out and sewed up everything. They also removed my previous 2 c section scars and just left one.....which is huge so not really a great trade off, but I don't mind.
Raquel screamed the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME! I hate not being able to hold her or comfort her. It was so frustrating and usually c sections aren't an hour and a half, but more like a half hour to 45 minutes. So it felt like FOREVER!!! But once it was all over, they wheeled me into recovery and I honestly don't remember much after that. I'm usually pretty drugged and remember bits and pieces but not much more. My parents came, we took some pictures, she got a bath, i tried to feed her, I threw up a few times (which hurts so freakin bad after a c section, even with the morphine!), then I slept while my mom took care of the baby.
The next few days were rough. Trying to get up and get your crying baby out of the bassinet after surgery is just not fun. Having my tubes taken out and having so much scar tissue cut through and around, my whole abdominal area just felt so sore and scraped through. But she was so worth it all! She was so sweet and tiny! I just can't get enough of her. I tried to just soak up the time with just her and I while we were in the hospital.
My mom came and stayed with us for 6 weeks! It was so nice to have her here and get help with the kids and the cleaning and the laundry. My little sister came for a while too, and it was just so nice to have all the help! They are my best friends and it was nice to not feel so overwhelmed because I can trust them with anything!
The recovery this last time around was definitely the worst, but the pain meds help you get through it, and having all the help was a lifesaver. It was all kind of a blur once I got home. I had a lot of problems breast feeding, and she dropped down to 5.5 lbs so I started pumping exclusively and it was so exhausting.
I know this post might seem a little negative, and "everythings hard and exhausting and the worst!" but it's my true feelings! It's why I don't want to have any more kids. The toll it takes on your body, and the c sections are just tough. And this last time was a doozy. So I love my kids, but I'm done. Some people just aren't blessed to have easy deliveries and birth stories. So that's why it might sound a little negative. But some of you probably relate!!
Anyways, Baby Rocky (I call her that, Dan hates it) is the sweetest little thing! She's a good sleeper and just all around happy baby! I'm so glad that she came to complete our little family! She's lucky to have 3 protective older brothers who just smother her with love! Jag really wanted nothing to do with her in the beginning but he's just as obsessed with her now as the rest of us! ;)
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